Revelation

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realising that prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes

"The lord is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the quest, so far has he removed our trangressions from us." - Psalm 103:8-12

God,

There are many things in life we cannot understand.

How can you love us so deeply?

Why do you love us so deeply?

I cannot fathom your capacity to love. It is so immense, it is so... amazing. Divine even.

Today, you have taught me a lesson. A wonderful lesson. A lesson of forgiveness. I sat the whole day in the office, thinking about what I wrote last night. I remember one of the greatest lessons you taught me about forgiveness. I was able to forgive a group of my friends for what they did to me. And they were just FRIENDS. How much more faster should I be able to forgive my family members?

I read this two quotes today, and I realise I am the prisoner of my hatred. I am not imprisoning those I hate, I am imprisoning myself. I imprison myself from the power of forgiveness, from the power of love, from the power of freedom.

As I lay down on my bed, I looked back in life and I realise that my father did not stop loving me. He showered me with material gifts, yes, but perhaps he wanted to make up for the past 8 years he was never there for me. I remember how he never rejected the idea of me going professional gaming. Instead, he spured me on, and told me to go all out for something I loved to do and to never give up, because the moment I did, I would fail.

I failed to notice that there were other people who loved me, who cared for me. Just to name a few:

Lionel & Elfin Loh

John and Vivian Mcdonald

Ng Wee Chung

And many others of course.

I close my eyes and think of my Dad. The tears are there, but there is no pain because the memories of my father were not painful but instead, happy memories. Thanks for the memories Dad. You may never get to see this,  but I still love you, even if I don't show it outwardly.

God, you have been wonderful to me. I am sorry for being a brat all this while. Forgive me for not forgiving my father all this past years. But today I've decided to remember him as the best father that I ever had, because I chose to love him and forgive him for what he has done. Thank you God.

And of course, thank you missy.

Wow I feel quite light now.